Thursday, March 18, 2010
Struggling From Within
Wow. This world is so full of so much talent. I do not consider myself an 'artist' or an 'actor' or an "athlete" or even a 'pastor,' which is my occupation (side note: when I state pastor as my occupation I do not do so with any kind of frustration or sadness and I do not view 'being a pastor' as simply an occupation to get food on the table, just to clarify). I feel quite inadequate. I am not trying to be a poser of any sort, but I just do the things I enjoy. What a fight, however, to keep my head above the waters of drowning in despair of not being good enough!
The post today is kind of a ranting of sorts so it doesn't necessarily flow as I would like, but emotions are like that.
"Never give up" that's what keeps running through my head.
Never give up on things simply because I do not hope to become a famous artist, actor and athlete. I don't even want to be even a bit famous for those things, I guess I just don't want to be judged when I do those things whether I am 'good' at them or not. However, can life be lived if fear of what others think keeps you hostage?
Never give up because whether or not I feel like I am always right for the job, God would not have placed me here if I did not have something worthy to do here. If I would only make a mockery of being a pastor, then God would not have placed me.
Confidence. Trust. Breathe in. Quietness and Rest. Breathe out.