Wanting to be artistic...

Yesterday was horrible. I felt horrible. I acted horrible. Yes, yesterday was a horrible day.

BUT...
Today I want it to be better, life is worth living the good and the bad days,
but I like the better days a lot better.

IT got better from

conversation about GOD... my favorite
laughs,
a sweet hubby,

and time to be creative
now i am no artist! But I love to try.
This is what I knitted:I also decided to be a mock model with my computer camera:

this one was my favorite

Now my plan is to paint, read the beautiful Bible, and listen to music in french.

later that day...
Ended up not listening to french music... =( but did paint a little.
I am messing around, so it didn't turn out the way good or anything^ I saw a cat in the very yellow fields when I was driving home the other day.

^ this one... i just like that purple color
...Have a LOVELY day.

Good Morning

Struggling From Within

Wow. This world is so full of so much talent. I do not consider myself an 'artist' or an 'actor' or an "athlete" or even a 'pastor,' which is my occupation (side note: when I state pastor as my occupation I do not do so with any kind of frustration or sadness and I do not view 'being a pastor' as simply an occupation to get food on the table, just to clarify). I feel quite inadequate. I am not trying to be a poser of any sort, but I just do the things I enjoy. What a fight, however, to keep my head above the waters of drowning in despair of not being good enough!

The post today is kind of a ranting of sorts so it doesn't necessarily flow as I would like, but emotions are like that.

"Never give up" that's what keeps running through my head.

Never give up on things simply because I do not hope to become a famous artist, actor and athlete. I don't even want to be even a bit famous for those things, I guess I just don't want to be judged when I do those things whether I am 'good' at them or not. However, can life be lived if fear of what others think keeps you hostage?

Never give up because whether or not I feel like I am always right for the job, God would not have placed me here if I did not have something worthy to do here. If I would only make a mockery of being a pastor, then God would not have placed me.

Confidence. Trust. Breathe in. Quietness and Rest. Breathe out.

Goals...

Although I love pictures and have been planning on putting up my day in a picture diary... I cannot find or am just too lazy to find the cord the goes in between the computer and the camera. INSTEAD of that brilliant plan I decided to post something I do not love as much: goals.

Yes, goals work for people and they are good and schools like them etc etc, but I feel like life is much more than accomplishments that you get here and there. I want my life to be lived. Yes, lived with intentionality, but not riddled with awards and trophies as significant as they may be. Life to me is loving Jesus and loving others. Goals are more marginal and flexible and mine often change.

Nonetheless the following goals are my "five year" goals
(who can even imagine their life in 5 whole years?)

1. To Publish a Children's Book (or at the very least give it a try...)

2. Learn Spanish

3.Polish Up the Children's Ministry (although I am not sure what that really entails or looks like...)

4.Plant a vegetable garden (i like carrots when they still have the fresh earthy taste)

5. Make better goals... maybe